Episodes 1 & 2 are available and online HERE!
My experience with the American Book of the Dead is something I'm not sure I am able to communicate correctly on my own. So that's why I teamed up with another yoga practitioner, Alka, to run an experiment with this book. Our questions were, "Is The American Book of the Dead real?". Alka (Salty Zombi Girl) and I will be reading for each other and documenting our experiences and then presenting them to you - the viewers.
Both Alka and I have both experienced this book in our respective paths in the past and so by getting together and reading for each other, we will be able to gain more access to the the truth.
I experimented with this book's content almost exactly one year ago when I left Los Angeles and moved home to be closer to my adopted mother. The whole experience was overwhelming and I felt like I was experiencing a metaphorical death. It was when I was reading the ABD (American Book of the Dead) for another whenI caught myself in the reflection of a mirror. I had a moment of "enlightenment" and realized that I was truly one with the universe and was reading for myself, because as it felt in that moment, there was no one else. It was a profound ego death experience.
The photo on the right was taken midway through the 49 days as I was traveling through the Sequoia National Forest on the way to an art gallery auction I was a part of in Grass Valley, CA. At this stage of the journey I was feeling deeply spiritual and emotional. At one point, I was lost and out of gas in the Sequoia Natl Forest and the ABD helped me find a way back. Every chamber became important for me to be aware of and present in because I was finding clues on how to get through the day in the right way.
This photo on the left is me after reading the full 49 chambers of the ABD. Here I am going from leaving my home in LA to graduating top at the Kripalu Yoga Ashram in the Berkshires, Massachusetts. Probably in one of the most "awakened" state of my life.
So now Alka and I are going to recreate this experiment using each other as guides and completing the daily readings. Once a week we will get together and see what our experiences were. If they were as powerful for each other as they were for us on our own and if we can safely recommend this book to others. The first Vlog will go live the first day of Saturn direct which is Wednesday, September 18th, 2019. Below you can keep up with my ABD diary in real time starting the 18th.
Journal
9/17/19
6:30 pm: The weirdness already is apparent. Early today I had a notification from TimeHop from one year ago. I remember that this was the day I started reading on my own for myself. So today really is sort of like my "Bardo Birthday". Alka and I decided to do the first 5 readings tonight before the great Saturn Redirect tomorrow. A few times through the readings I caught a heightened presence of Alka. I could imagine her reading for me. It came through clear. Oh well.... Off to do my #TarotTuesday. Will have to catch up more later. BTW, Here is the photo from TimeHop.
9/18/19
6:30 AM - Confrontation of the Clear Light... I felt peace and was grateful that this was the way I was starting my day. It made me feel good to get up earlier than I normally would.
6:30 PM - Confronting the Clear Light.... ahh yeah I've been here before. Not so much during the reading but after it there were disagreements with friends. A strained relationship needed work. I felt hunted and trapped.
9/19/19
6:30 AM - Introduction to the Second Stage of the Voyage in the Macrodimensions of the Labyrinth, Manifestations of the Friendly Guides, and the Fourth Chamber - This morning the advices were learning to like a situation even if it is uncomfortable, and not going to the first thing to get out of the situation.
6:30 PM - Chamber #5 - Anger was the theme for the day. I spent most of the day being angry with people in my life. The night before I had been awake most of the night. I had a long drawn out argument with someone that I knew. There had been a fight about my spiritual "work" and how it was inconsistent with the reality. I had felt that there had been very little support from him. After expressing that I was told that it was essentially my fault that I had not received that support and that I had been a "bitch". That anger permeated through my day and I kept digging at my heart area with my thumb like I had been trying to remove a splinter. Also anger showed up with my new work partner. Although my partner and I shared almost the same video, my partner's video was gaining more views and attention than mine had despite doing much more of the work. Tonight as I picked up the ABD I was astounded when it had to do with violence.
"I see before me the face of the beloved, surrounded by a brilliant white radiation which emanates from the heart, bathing me in a harsh, biting acid-like cleansing atmosphere, purifying me, discoing away all vestiges of violence, anger and hatred, all those fear reactions which remain from my voyages among humans in the primate dimension...."
9/20/19
6:30 AM - Sixth Chamber - Yellow was the theme for this morning which has been my favorite color as of late. The chamber had to do with dissolving egoism. Something I struggled with last night regarding my now ex bf and my partner. I will try to remember humility today and that the real purpose for my work is to help others. Let's see. Need to go shower and prepare for Free Yoga Friday, see you later.
6:30 PM - Seventh Chamber - Tonight I felt I made really good contact with Alka. I Could see her presence in my mind's eye. The chamber had to do with attachments.
9/21/19
6:30 AM - Eighth Chamber - Today's chamber was about Jealousy. It was a gentle reminder to apply grace in my communication with others that I was jealous of. Not always easy, as my emotions crept into my throat through the morning. I also felt that others were jealous of me but I tried to repel that as it felt like a trap to get caught in. My feedback from Alka this morning was that she doesn't feel like I enjoy the "Two Dead Girls" project or that I don't even like her. Feeling betrayed and lonely. Not seeing efforts going towards anything except the void. Jealousy, Jealousy, Jealousy. Today during my readings I was transported to visions of my Yoga Training at Kripalu.
6:30 PM - Chamber Nine - The ninth chamber takes awhile to get through but mentions the concept of anger. It's been a struggle to work on the self and I hope my partner is faring better than I am. I hope she is getting the information she needs through the readings - although, I admit I sped through this particular chamber. If read in a truly awakened state, this reading can shoot a voyager straight to the top of liberation, but feeling as karmically drained as I am, I don't think I will make it there. Perhaps "Salty" will.
9/22/19
6:30 AM - Tenth Chamber - Had to do the invocation 7x instead of 3 because I was on the train to Midtown to teach yoga and I just could not get myself out of bed any earlier than 5:45. I felt a good presence, but it was a practice on reading in a crowded space which is something we practiced in the LRS course. The Labyrinth Reader's Society offers a course on how to use this book better and more effectively. I completed it just recently but having reason to practice it again meant the world to me.
6:30 PM - Introduction the the manifestations of the Unresponsive Guides & the Eleventh Chamber - New stage in the voyage. I felt a good connection reading the introduction. The space was eerily quiet which was strange because only moments ago my upstairs neighbor had been relentlessly jumping up and down on the floor above me (The Texas football match) in this segment we learn that all things are projections of our own mental/emotional processes and that any response from another being or entity is truly unrelated to what we are trying to evoke. Pretty good reminder, let's see how it plays out in practice.
9/23/19
6:30 AM - Twelfth Chamber - It is alright to feel fear but never to panic. Today I woke up crying. I read my chamber past the time I was supposed to because I just couldn't get myself out of bed. At the end of my reading cycle I called my partner to see how her readings were doing I learned that she had been doing the same chamber twice a day. I spoke to some elders and they suggested that I back track to where she was in the labyrinth and read only once a day for the rest of the cycle. So starting tomorrow I will be going back to chamber 8 and reading again. At least now I have some semblance of understanding why I have been feeling so poorly (maybe).
9/24/19
6:30 AM - Ninth Chamber - I read today at 5:00 AM because I happened to be awake. It was a very good connection. I did it from my bed without a candle or a bell, but I think the early morning hour and the relaxed state of my body allowed for there to be more of a presence, or maybe it was because Alka and I were finally in the same space or nearby to each other at least. It was a long chamber allowing the harsh radiations to dissolve what was left of human egoism. These words particularly stood out to me today:
"...Realizing that the compassionate radiances of the wisdom of the heart have come to take hold of me through compassion. I will take refuge in them,.."
Today it is still early but trying to remain compassionate with myself although a dark depression has come over me. It arrived around Labor Day and got worse shortly after leaving on my trip to California this past labor day. Really dark and isolated space punctuated by intense periods of crying. I'm not doing very well lately.
9/25/19
6:30 AM - Tenth Chamber - It's not going well. My partner quit last night after telling me how bad I am as a person and that it is difficult to manage working with me. These are sentiments that reminded me of what Jack said and what my partner before him felt who blocked and deleted me. It was expressed to me to try to keep her on board and asked her to consider the idea of staying until Friday. I am continuing to read the tenth chamber. Today I felt I could hear her also reading the obligatory reader's invocation which is a good sign but I am feeling angry and sad, and want to end it all.
6:30 PM - Manifestations of the Unresponsive Guides - Eleventh Chamber - My partner wrote me that she would like to continue the project. We filmed although I made an announcement that we would not be doing anything until Saturday. I was touched by her tenacity and felt a new enthusiasm for the project. With renewed sense of purpose we recorded today and I helped edit it into a final draft. Having time to edit it before Saturday turns out to be a blessing anyway. It relieves a great deal of pressure on me.
Tonight I read the introduction to the second state of the voyage, the manifestations of the unresponsive guides. On page 103 the lines "I remember from my previous experiences in the macro dimensions that this sone of those times when I'm not going to be able to take a moment's rest, because no sooner does one change cease than another begins, and since the space is eternal, there's no time flow, and therefore no end to it except by upscaling or downscaling through the macrodimensional levels." Which is interesting because today while filming Alka had said something almost identical to this. Things will apparently pick up speed and visions will get worse but I am feeling hope that we have both overcome the intense radiations and will continue forward. I read tonight constantly striking my bell to alert my voyager to pay attention. I channeled my love and good will into the reading. Tomorrow I will go in for more doctor's tests on the lumps they have found between my cervix and my bowels that will need to be surgically removed if possible. My white blood count is high and I have extremely low female hormones. What once might have simply been tissue now might be more serious. I will have to wait to find out.
9/26/19
6:30 AM - Twelfth Chamber - Back to where I was before back tracking. I thought I made some good contact but felt something weird happening. This morning I uploaded episode 2 for review but I had neglected to check a box (I was using a new editing software I invested in for this project Adobe Premiere Pro) so the video came out in the wrong aspect ratio and pixelated. When Alka saw it she decided to quit the project a second time, citing that she doesn't want to be uncomfortable, give a bad name to EJ (due to poor craftmasnship). or herself. She mentioned her issues with me as a person and that she didn't feel that she can tell me anything. So The project is over, for now. I might find a way to continue without her but it's almost pointless. It's a lot of wasted effort and work on my part and the feeling that it is bad quality, which I knew deep down but felt each effort was an improvement.
This morning I am on the way to the doctor's. Tuesday on my yearly gynecological appointment there was a pelvic exam and a lump was found between my vaginal walls and my bowel/rectum region. Tests were run and my blood levels were abnormal and my female hormone level FSH was .1%. Alka could have found a better time to hurt me, the rest of the day was frought with almost violent interactions between us but mostly it was out of a sheer stress reaction to losing the amount of work created and severe upsets with my health.
6:30 PM - Thirteenth Chamber - I am continuing the readings for Alka as I believe it is wrong to leave someone in the bardos. So I figure I might as well continue this piece of work that I hd started. Today I felt huge resistance and unpleasant feelings from her as I read but tried my best to avoid confrontation and to be there as supportive as I could be at that moment. It's a good practice I think, to read for someone who has hurt you. Sort of a Meta Meditation.
9/27/19
6:30 AM - Alka has asked me to stop reading for her and to take down the videos. As she is alive and the readings have to be voluntary I agreed to both of her requests. I stopped reading and took down the videos. Alka changed her mind again and called me names. The videos have been republished but will not be publicized. I have archived the advertising I had done on my instagram for the project. She has decided to take Claude's advice to stop reading the ABD (American Book of the Dead) for me leaving my spirit in the 10th chamber. I have asked someone to continue reading for me as I am worried about my current health crisis.